Ashamed to say more than 2 years has pasted...

Sorry I havent posted in so very long. more than 2 years has pasted since I last updated my blog.
Needless to say a lots happened in that time. when I last updated I was pregnant with my now 2 year old daughter. we named her Alexis.
She is the light of my life and her dads.
we still have our teggy he is 6 years old this year.

still love ronan keating :P

went to see him in concert back in march. have a ticket to see him again next year for the boyzone tour. Training my girl up to be a fan too ;)

Pregnancy was hard and Im still recovering from it. I ended up having a 12lb baby. shes really tall and people always think she much older than she is.
people dont normally believe me but shes been talking from 9 weeks old. she constantly surprises us and I swear she cant just be so young.
shes a kind good hearted girl and makes me proud in a different way everyday. x

This july my husband and I will have been married for 8 years. we have 3 week hoilday planned which we are all looking forward too. hoping for some sun ;)

our baby girl is now 26 weeks old

Happy new year!

We had our 2nd 4d scan yesterday. we got to see her really well this time! the animation I have made from some of the stills that were taken, in these stills she was pulling some cracking faces, she actually looked quite frightening at times! we also saw her smiling a few times, she kept trying to open her eyes, she stuck her tongue right out at us, she was very funny. we got to have a really nice look at her.


I also got given a ton of baby clothes yesturday from a friends Dad, so I have been going though them all with stickers labeling them in sizes so its easer to know what will fit and when. there are loads of really cute bits in there!
Im so looking forward to having her here with us, which is silly really as she is with us now. its just a pitty mother nature didnt give us pregant women a window or something!

baby girl on the way

Our baby at first scan - dated her to be 10 weeks, she is laid with her back to you, head on the left.

2nd baby scan, 21 weeks and a half.... first below is a profile shot she's watching you! next below is a side picture of her face. - we found out at this scan shes a girl!

22 1/2 weeks - 3rd scan (4d) - confirmed again as a girl! both up close face pics below

colour picture of our little girl at her 22 1/2 week scan (4d)

bad 2 worse

Things have gone from bad to worse this last week. things have changed so much, Dad pasted away way before he was due to leave us.
After being told he had "months" to live he survived just 12 days. things just plummeted out of control. for a few weeks Dad had been treated with fairly strong painkillers, after several cruel side effects the doctors decided to remove them. without any clue to how his health really was due to a almost coma ed state he was left in. They choose to cut him right back to parctamol, the day they did that seemed to prove he wasn't nearly as bad as it had seemed - on the outside at least. he seemed so much better, able to talk and smile. The next morning things made a complete turn around and the doctor then decided to put dad on morphine. we spent most of the day with him as the dose of morphine was increased time and time and time again. we was forced to go home though commitments, leaving dad with the rest of the family whom had not been there though the day.
That night I hadn't slept well as normally (due to pregnancy) I was laid dosing slightly but still very aware. I opened my eyes and saw the bedroom door closing. I thought this must be my husband going to the bathroom. I didn't give this a second thought until I turned over and faced - My husband! now with only 2 people including my self in the house there I was was in total shock, how the hell, who the hell! it could only be him and there he was laid fast a sleep. I reached out and touched him to make sure he was really there. I looked at him then the door this repeated over and over, realising more and more that the impossible had just happened.
It scared me there was no sound at all. nothing.
I whispered at first Kevin, over and over. scared in case that what ever had done it would hear me. as i called him over and over I became more scared. he woke and I explained what I had seen. and that I was 100% sure of my eyes had seen. I saw no person just the door.
he told me not to be so silly, it could be anything. but I knew that the door Never does that. I know the house and there are no draughts or any logical reason for that door to have been opened and to have closed in front of my eyes. I explained it was just as if someone had closed the door behind them. As if someone was leaving.

an hour or so give or take pasted. Kevin held my hand to calm me. I was scared and stared terrifyingly at the door for the hole time. I then heard the phone ringing down stairs, at 4.30 just gone. most people know that is not a good sign.

The call was that Dad was dieing. we rushed and grabbed out clothes to run out to the country side where they live. in less then 2 minutes we received another call saying he had died.
The turn was so fast it was so shocking and we are all still in total shock.