our wedding day - been married 2 years over now, wasnt the easyest time of our lifes - in fact guests said it was a wedding from hell I quote, - ok so guess I better tell you what went wrong - well ok, Ill start with what didnt, we both turned up, so did the rev - kevs family, the limo, the photographer and yep thats about it,

My dad had been ill a long time so when we got engaged we decided we should go do it as soon as poss, but things arent always that easy we worked out the earlyest we could do it and set a date 6th july 02, and booked the church st wulframs its the church where every girl dreams of,

everything was going so well then 6 weeks before our bigday dad got so poorly we could no longer give him the care he needed so the doc took him in to hospital, he got gangreen in there and they had to remove his leg, the docs told us he wouldnt make it but, hey they said that 4 years before that, said hes heart was to weak this time. But he did it he came though we sat there all night till they made us leave.

after that he seemed better but it wasnt to last, he had got newmonia when he had the op, and a week later he died.

this was 4 weeks before our wedding day, 3 days before his birthday.

I was and I guess am deversated - hed always been my rock.

With my heart ace and all I just couldnt take my mums next stunt,

My mum is decabled as she is mentally ill, she seems very normal and all doesnt need a padded room or anything,

I really dont want to slag her down so theres a lot im gonna leave out, but the top and bottom or it is she has a very bad temper and has no line to draw when she wants to hurt you,

so we partly walked out got thowen out.

And because of this her - my family all turned against us, we were basicily left homeless only what we could thow in bin bags is what we had.

We where forced to go cruling to kevs mum and dad, That was the hardest thing ive ever had to explain. You see they believed I came from a good repectable family like them, Id keeped everything from them- forced poor kev to do the same.

But they took us in we both suffered nervous breakdowns though everything but we said all a long we must get married. we cant let them win. we tryed and tryed to make things right but there was no chance.Mum was squezzing every bit of pity out of it she could.the last thing she told me was that when she heard our wedding bells she would kill herself.

The next 4 weeks were 4 of the worst. but with lots of small rocks falling from the sky we made it. we found our first home together, a tiny little town house that felt safe.

THE BIG DAY,

Oh god and what a day!

I got my self ready. Had no idea at all of what to expect that day. My sister had fallen into mums trap and believed all her lies.

kevs mum came to pull up my zip, The limo arrived, I got in, ending up at church,

Kevs mum and dad were there, and julie( photos)

she said dont worry kevs here! well thank god right! we took photos I even began to get a little excited again, I went and stood by the glass doors like i was told, waiting for the rev to come get me like he said.......and i waited.......and i waited.......

I keeped see very worryed faces running pass the door, not anybody giving eye contact...julie keepet saying over and over again he is here he is I took pictures it was him!

Then the minister of the church came out - oh god this wasnt good.

he went over to a sign out side and hid it behind a wall, It said in big letters OPEN CHURCH!

the minister began to explain something all I heard was....

There has been a slite mistake in bookings.....blah.....blah....blah b u ll s h i t blah...blah .....followed by please come back at 2.3o - that was 6 hours away,

well yeah ok Ill pop back on the bus late mate!

I think he realised I was about to head butt him when he ran in side saying we will try, we will try.

then a few life times later the rev came out to me. he was very up set by it all and was wonderfull. he knew all about my mum and dad and had tryed so much to help. It wasnt even his church, but he was so sorry.

He explained that what had happened was someone had writen it down wrong in a diary!

which ment no paperwork ready, no organist, no choir, but by pure chance the bell ringwers where there as to practice.

An hour late almost for the cermony, we had 1 choir girl whom they had been able to drag in, a 15 year old school boy who God bless him! new one one piece of music, and I have to add tryed so hard but really couldnt of sounded much worse. We had a school teacher to play the himes (on a piano they draged over from the school next door)

The minister told me to come in, he made me feel like I was a little girl. He said now are we going to go though with this? I was trying not to cry, just trying to block it all out, But this i couldnt and my very words were......"I will as long as kev still wants to, but I dont want to see him!"

the next moment I know he stoud in front of me every body stood around us in a ring us in the middle them talking about what we should do.

this to me was it the staw that broke the camels back, Id been waiting so long to see his face when he saw me, id imaged that moment since I could walk and talk. I been to such huge lengths for it to all be a surprise. And now the moment had come and it was ruined.

I looked at the minister and said "I DIDNT WANT TO SEE HIM!" He turned to me and said you cant be childish about this, We cannot be running around passing messages on like children! that word again.

I looked at kev and said to him quitely "is nicky here?" nicky was my oldest neice she had txted me saying she would be there. but now even she wasnt there. some of kevs family sat on my side to make me feel better. kev and i was sent back to opposite sides of the church again.

the lad started to play his erm....you get the picture,

I put on a big flase smile which I wore for the rest of the day,

PEOPLE SAY KNOW I BET YOU LAUGH NOW DONT YOU!

The rest of the was kinda controled - cos we did it all our selfs!

things are sorted out now with my family we are all friends again. somethings cant be forgotten but I do love them all. And sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.

I know now that we did thye right thing by leaving that day. as hard as it was. Ive made mum face up to the way she is now and for a hole year she had been good. she knows now that im not bluffing when i say Ive taken all I can.